‘Hocus Pocus 2’ [REVIEW]: Not Bewitching Again…

In his review of the original Hocus Pocus Roger Ebert said “But watching the movie is like attending a party you weren’t invited to, and where you don’t know anybody, and they’re all in on a joke but won’t explain it to you.” I can’t think of a better way to describe my experience with this film. I did not grow up with it and when I saw it I was completely unmoved by the experience. It wasn’t awful but I found the virgin shaming to be off-putting for a Disney film and the whole thing to be nothing special. I can think of so many scary Disney movies that are more imaginative with far more heart. I have a whole series on my youtube channel called Disney Scares Month (with a new month starting next week!).

Now we have Hocus Pocus 2 and I’m left in a weird position as a critic. I do not think it is a good film but as the franchise continues to elude me I have no idea what the legions of fans of the original will think of it. If you love it knock yourself out. Enjoy it. Who cares what I think?

So here’s why I don’t think Hocus Pocus 2 is a good movie. First, the very weak story. They of course find a reason to bring the Sanderson Sisters back but then they dont give them anything interesting to do. They literally spend around 20 minutes in a Walgreens making  jokes that feel like bad improv. I know they are goofy in the original but they were also scary and legit threats. Not any more. This movie’s idea for a joke is Mary rides 2 roombas instead of a broomstick. This is repeated multiple times and if that does it for you in the humor department I guess you’ve found your movie.

Disney has spent the last 20 years watering down nearly every villain in their canon and it’s no different here. Of course, we get the tragic backstory and their redemption arc. These women are huge money-makers for the studio so they aren’t going to have them pose an actual threat to the teens or be legitimately scary. That would actually require Disney to take a risk with their characters…

Izzy (Belissa Escobedo, far left), Becca (Whitney Peak) and Cassie (Lilia Buckingham) are friends and wannabe teen spellcasters in "Hocus Pocus 2."

 

I will give the movie credit that the 3 teen girls are a definite upgrade over the teens from the original film with Belissa Escobedo stealing the show (I have loved her in everything I’ve seen her in particularly the canceled too soon The Baker and the Beauty.) The script doesn’t give the teens much to do but I enjoyed their performances.

You get some fun songs (you know me and musical numbers!) but they are unevenly distributed through the movie and new cast-members like Hannah Waddingham and Tony Hale are barely used and not in an inspired way. I’ve honestly seen a lot of DCOMS that had more energy, humor and legit scares than what is offered here (try Don’t Look Under the Bed, Phantom of the Megaplex, Twitches, Halloweentown etc…) or give Tim Burton’s underrated Frankenweenie a watch. It has so much more to offer than this lounging around in Walgreens movie…

If you love the original Hocus Pocus you may love this. I have no idea but from my perspective there is very little story, the humor doesn’t work and the product placement is unpardonable. I guess you can say I continue to not fall under the spell of this franchise and the Sanderson Sisters…

4 out of 10

Frown Worthy

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Current Mini Reviews (Barbarian, See How They Run, Everybody Dance, Don’t Worry Darling)

Hey everyone! I’ve got a few films to update you with (I’m woefully behind on current releases because of my D23 trip but doing the best I can). Here goes!

Everybody Dance

This is a very sweet and endearing documentary about a dance studio outside of LA that teaches dance to all kids (the name is literally Ballet for ALL Kids). This includes children with both physical and mental disabilities. The director Dan Watt does a good job balancing the stories of the kids with the philosophy behind the studio ran by director Bonnie Schlachte. I appreciate the program and film don’t patronize the special needs kids but teach them dance just like any other children but with reasonable adaptations of course.

Everything all leads to the big recital and by then we have gotten to know a bunch of the kids and their families and feel triumphant with them at a successful recital. In a world where the arts and dance are often removed from students curriculum this film makes a good case for how important and vital they are for both able-bodied and special needs children. In that sense Everybody Dance has a beautiful and important message.

7 out of 10

Smile Worthy

See How They Run

One of my recent discoveries in my support of local theater this year is the play See How They Run which I saw in April at the Pleasant Grove Players and found it to be absolutely hilarious. The play is a classic of English theatre having been written by Philip King in 1944 and it is still performed today (there have actually been 3 local theaters putting it on this year).

With this experience fresh in my mind I was so excited when I heard a movie with the title See How They Run was coming out and just assumed it would be some kind of adaptation. Unfortunately that was not the case. I guess that was an unfair assumption for me to make as they didn’t claim it was an adaptation. It just had the same title.

Anyway, maybe my disappointment played a factor in my overall underwhelming response but if it had been charming I could have put that aside. While the cast and style of this film is impressive the story never grabbed me. It felt bland and the mystery wasn’t intriguing. To be frank I found it rather dull which this kind of mystery should never be!

4.5 out of 10

Frown Worthy

Barbarian

You all know I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to horror but I’m also trying to stretch myself and see films outside of my comfort zone. Such is the case with the latest horror movie Barbarian directed and written by Zach Cregger and starring Georgina Campbell, Bill Skarsgard and Justin Long.

The casting goes a long way to make this film work. Especially the male casting because Skarsgard and Long carry expectations with their performances. We expect Skarsgard to be scary. We expect Long to be kind. This makes their choices in the film extra surprising.

Campbell plays Tess a woman who rents an Airbnb in a shady neighborhood in Detroit only to find Skarsgard’s Keith is already staying at the house and there are all kinds of suspect things going on there.

I enjoyed Barbarian. It is surprising and let the audience figure out what it’s trying to say rather than preachier horrors of late like Black Christmas 2019. It uses jump scares effectively and is the right amount of weird/gory. If you are a horror wimp like I am you might actually have fun with it.

7 out of 10

Smile Worthy

Don’t Worry Darling

Don’t Worry Darling is definitely one of those films that has gotten a lot of attention during its festival run and mostly not in a good way. Whatever drama there was on set has dominated the conversation as well as lots of shenanigans at press conferences and various tiffs between the cast.

With all of that how’s the movie? I’d say it’s ok, worthy of a mild recommendation. Olivia Wilde directs this sci-fi thriller that dusts off the well-used premise of the seemingly perfect yet actually toxic suburban life.  One can’t help when watching this movie think of other films like The Stepford Wives, Edward Scissorhands and American Beauty.

That said, there was enough style and panache to the production I didn’t mind the derivative nature. Florence Pugh is terrific as housewife Alice and she has great chemistry with Harry Styles’ Jack (who is very charismatic in the role). Chris Pine and Gemma Chan are also good as the leaders of the perfect world (made me think of Wrinkle in Time and  The Giver among many other dystopians).

The ending has some holes and it’s not perfect but my friend and I had a fun discussion about each reveal after the movie was over so I left having had a good time. If you are taking it super seriously you probably will be frustrated. See it for the cracking performances and the great style and you’ll have a blast. (Also the soundtrack is smashing good!)

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

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Blind Spot 81: Purple Rain

One of the fun things about doing this blind spot series is it forces me to sit down and watch movies I’ve heard about but just have never gotten around to seeing. 1984’s Purple Rain is such a film. Of course I know about its existence as one of the iconic rock feature films, and I knew about Prince’s music, but I had never seen the movie. Now I have seen the film and I can see why it was such a touchstone for both 80s music and music in film.

There isn’t a ton of plot to Purple Rain but what they do have is interwoven nicely into the music. The story is about a singer named The Kid played by Prince who comes from a troubled and abusive home and he is trying to make a name for himself playing at a club called The First Avenue Nightclub. The Kid has a huge ego and spars with the female members of his band and a rival band called The Time led by Morris Day. We also get a lot of relationship drama between The Kid and his girlfriend Apollonia (Apollonia Kotero). This film definitely earns its R rating with some pretty steamy scenes so not for the squeamish in that department.


There are long sequences of Prince singing along with Morris and the other bands. If you don’t like their music than this movie isn’t for you. The highlight is the “Purple Rain” number which is a song the girls in the band wrote showing The Kid is finally working with his band, not fighting against them.

There are some scenes in the film of domestic abuse both from The Kid’s father and from he towards Apollonia. It can be tough to watch and I don’t know if the redemption is enough to forgive such violent behavior, but they try to show the arc for both within the film. There is also a lot of cheesy scenes and over-the-top 80s fashion but that’s mostly part of the fun of it all. cor

If you haven’t seen Purple Rain I recommend it as a piece of 80s pop culture with some great music and corny romance. At the very least check out the soundtrack. It’s legendary!

7 out of 10

Smile Worthy


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[REVIEW] ‘Pinocchio’ 2022 or Can I Wish to Have Not Seen This Film?

Any fans of my writing know I am not the biggest fan of the Disney live action remakes. There are a few I like such as Pete’s Dragon and Mary Poppins Returns but for the most part they’ve been pale imitations of the beloved original films they are based off of. That said I do try to go into any film I watch with a positive outlook hoping for the best (and sometimes like with MPR I am pleasantly surprised). I say all of this because I want it to be clear that it gives me no joy to say Disney’s latest remake Pinocchio is the worst of these remakes and quite possibly one of the worst movies the studio has ever made. I really am struggling to find anything positive to say about it and only hope the Guillermo del Toro version coming in December will wipe this disaster out of my memory.

This version of Pinocchio is directed by Robert Zemeckis, and we should have gotten a clue of his remake skills with his recent disappointing adaptation of Witches but that feels outstanding compared to this. There are so many aspects I disliked that it’s almost hard to know where to begin but I will try:

First, the animation is awful. From one of the most beautiful animated films ever made it’s painful to have this version that looks like plastic with a shiny cheap CG aesthetic to everything. Every set piece especially Monstro looks like something from a Disney copycat studio in 2002 not from Disney itself in 2022. I expect much better from Disney these days. I hated all the character designs including Jiminy and Pinocchio. They looked like bad video game Kingdom Hearts characters not from a major feature film.

Pinocchio (2022) - IMDb

Next, Tom Hanks as Geppetto is a major problem. His acting is over-the-top and it is always obvious he isn’t working with real characters. This is surprising because he has done motion capture work before in The Polar Express. It’s hard for me to think of a more false and weak performance Hanks has ever given. The emotional sequences feel shouty and fake and there is no bond between his character and Pinocchio.

Pinocchio (2022) - IMDb

The script by Zemeckis and Chris Weitz is also extremely weak. Like many of these remakes they explain things that don’t need explaining and the additions they make are pure cringe. They add in a female puppet friend for Pinocchio that is strange because it’s played as a sentient character but it’s not so what is the puppeteer doing? Why is she invested in making a friend for Pinocchio? It’s strange.

We also get some terrible humor with at one point making a joke about Pinocchio’s name at least not being Chris Pine because he’s made of wood… That’s how bad the jokes are. There are strange choices like they make his nose getting longer purposeful to reach the keys instead of being a punishment for lying. They also make the kids in Pleasure Island drink rootbeer but still have them turned into donkeys, which seems like a strange punishment for drinking soda. There are so many choices like that which are just stupid!

Pinocchio'; The New Trailer & Poster Offer A Better Look At The Live-Action Disney Plus Movie | Screen-Connections

The Monstro sequences has Geppetto getting excited for Pinocchio who is waterskiing at the time. There’s no sense of tension or loss. No desperation just plucky weird looking Pinocchio having a good time. If it sounds like I am making this up: I wish I was.

The only thing I liked in this Pinocchio is Cynthia Erivo as the Blue Fairy. She’s a beautiful actress and her rendition of “When You Wish Upon a Star” is lovely. Luke Evans is so weird as The Coachman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fine as Jiminy but that’s all I’ve got for positives. If you are jonesing for Pinocchio either wait for the GDT version or watch the original classic. Whatever this is, it’s a definite skip.

1 out of 10

Frown Worthy

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Current Mini Reviews (3000 Years of Longing, Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero, Acapulco)

Hey everyone! I hope you are doing well. I have been super busy as always so it’s time to update you on what I’ve been watching lately. Just 3 updates today but I would love to hear what you are watching and what you thought of these projects.

3000 Years of Longing

Because I have been so busy I went into this knowing basically nothing about it, except that it is directed by George Miller. He of course directed Mad Max Fury Road as well as Happy Feet (which is a super weird movie if you rewatch it. Particularly the last act of the film that moves away from the singing penguins).

I didn’t even know that 3000 Years is about a genie but unfortunately my lack of knowledge didn’t help me enjoy the film much. Sometimes being green does but not in this case. I was totally overwhelmed by the project and found it both uninteresting and bizarre at the same time.

The weirdest part about the the project is what it seems to be saying about love. Each story the genie (Idris Elba) tells Alithea (Tilda Swinton) tells revolves around some kind of servitude. One character is literally kept as a prisoner for her husband to rape while she uses her wishes to not be free but to learn, which is very strange. Even Alithea and the Genie’s relationship ends up being one of servitude and control. Does Miller believe love is some form of slavery? I don’t understand what the point of such a message is or how that is supposed to be empowering or moving as the tone of the film would imply.

I suppose some will enjoy 3000 Years of Longing on a visual level but it was all so joyless and strange that even that didn’t work for me. This is a definite pass.

3 out of 10

Frown Worthy

Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero

In my experience anime franchises are the hardest films to convince average moviegoers to give a chance, which is a shame because they often have a lot to offer in both storytelling, animation and characters. Such is the case with the latest Dragon Ball entry: Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero.

Part of what sets this film apart is it focusing on some new characters: Gohan and Piccolo. We also get to dive into the Red Ribbon Army and its commanders Magenta and Carmine. These are younger, fun characters that teens will be able to easily relate with.

The animation is also a unique combination of the traditional 2D anime style with computer graphics to create a fluid and exciting action adventure. The music also adds a lot to the story and visuals.

There were parts of this film that dragged when the action stopped but if you’ve never seen a Dragon Ball entry this would be a good gateway into this vibrant anime franchise

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

Acapulco

We all know there is enough gloom and doom in the world around us that we look for media to brighten our spirits with heart-warming stories. Such is what Apple Plus gave us with Ted Lasso but a smaller series from them is equally as crowd-pleasing: Acapulco.

This series stars Eugenio Derbez as Máximo a wealthy man telling his nephew about his early days working at a luxury resort in Acapulco. Young Máximo is played by Enrique Arrizon and he is just awkward enough to be charming. He immediately falls for the beautiful poetry-loving Julia played by Camila Perez.

The first season follows Máximo as he pursues Julia but also becomes more at home in the resort and seeks to help his mother out of poverty (and get a much needed pair of glasses).

If you are looking for a feel-good binge Acapulco is just the ticket. Don’t miss it.

8 out of 10

Smile Worthy

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