2022 movies

‘Uncharted’ and ‘DOG’ REVIEWS

| Rachel's Reviews

Hey everyone! One of the happiest recent developments for me as a film critic is a return to my normal film-watching schedule. This of course means watching some good movies, some bad movies and some mediocre films. I don’t always review those films on this blog. Sometimes I cover them on my podcast both Rachel’s Reviews and Hallmarkies. In fact, you can find my reviews for Marry Me, The Book of Love and I Want You Back at Hallmarkies.
All that said, here are my quick thoughts on 2 recent releases.
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Dog
If my readers could have seen my face while watching Dog they would have seen looks of bafflement and exhaustion. I’m not entirely sure what I expected in a veteran and his dog movie but it definitely wasn’t this.
As I was watching I asked the question- who was this made for? Aren’t most people going to a see a movie like this expecting a sweet and sentimental story that will make them cry? Instead we get a bizarre movie that has sexual innuendo, drug use, impersonating a blind man, racial profiling and more. The humor is broad and over-the-top, which was so off-putting when combined with the more emotional moments.
The dog Lulu is cute (I guess played by 2 dogs) and the ending is effective but most of the road trip was very badly done. Channing Tatum tries his best but he can’t save Dog from its bizarre, muddled, and tone deaf script.
2 out of 10
Frown Worthy
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Uncharted
It will be no big surprise to my readers I have never played any of the Uncharted games. Nevertheless, I heard from many friends of its potential for a movie adaptation. From what I’ve gathered it’s similar to Tomb Raider but even more cinematic in its approach.
Now after much delay we have the movie version with Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg and it is…thoroughly average. It’s not an awful adventure film but it’s nothing special either. I’d put it below the recent Tomb Raider movie and that was just ok.
The main problem I had with Uncharted is everything is too easy for our protagonists. For example, in a long treasure hunting sequence under a city they stumble upon each clue quite easily. They always have the key, that key always works, and in one case the lock is hidden in plain daylight inside a Papa Johns!
There’s another instance where a cave loaded with treasure is clearly visible for all to see off of the coast of a Filipino island. We are supposed to believe nobody has been in that cave for 100s of years. In these kind of adventures you want the quest to at least be challenging to our heroes.
Most of the casting in Uncharted is also wasted. Wahlberg and Holland are fine but Antonio Banderas, Sophia Ali and Tati Gabrielle are all under-written. The special effects are fine but there is some green screen work that takes us out of the big action scenes.
I don’t want to be too critical because there is fun to be had in this movie. It’s just all something you can find in a million other films, which is disappointing. I’d say stay home and watch one of those or go see the latest Spider-man movie again. You can wait to see this latest video game adaptation on your console at home when it goes to streaming.
4 out of 10
Frown Worthy

Current Mini Reviews (Death on the Nile, Moonfall, Honey Girls)

| Rachel's Reviews

Hey everyone! I hope you are doing well. I have 3 movies to review today and all 3 I have mixed feelings on. Even as I write I’m not sure whether I will go smile worthy or frown worthy on any of them. That’s the tough part of the dichotomy of fresh and rotten on rottentomatoes. Sometimes movies are in the middle but I have to decide where I land!

Anyway, I will do my best so here are the reviews:

Honey Girls

Honey Girls is a teen musical starring Ashanti that premiered on Netflix this month. I wanted to see it because it features Lilah Fitzgerald and Cindy Busby in supporting roles- both actresses I have interviewed and enjoy their work. The film stars Ashanti as a big pop star who is hosting a talent search to find a new teen star. She started out in a girl group but she left them to be a big star.

It’s obvious watching Honey Girls it is made for pre-teen and teen girls who enjoy franchises like High School Musical and The Descendants. Ashanti is believable as the star and the girls are energetic and fun. Enjoyment of the film will depend on how much you like the music because there are a lot of long songs. None of them stood out to me but I’m not the target audience.

This film kind of reminded me of Jem and the Holograms but better than the most recent live action version of that series. What drags it down is some of the acting is poor and like I said the musical sequences are really long and not that memorable. However, if it sounds like your kind of thing you will probably like it. If not it won’t win you over.

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

Death on the Nile

I wasn’t the biggest fan of our last mystery with Agatha Christy penned detective Hercule Poirot, Murder on the Orient Express. I think part of the problem is I had read the book and seen several adaptations so I was more aware and invested in the story (and knew the mystery beforehand). With Death on the Nile this is not the case so I was able to see it with more fresh eyes. I also think generally it is a better film than Orient Express despite them both having their flaws.

In Death on the Nile we meet up with Poirot in Egypt attending a honeymoon trip for a young heiress played by Gal Gadot. The problem is it takes so long for the story to get to the boat and the death in the title. We even get a very unnecessary Poirot backstory about why he has a mustache- did anyone need that?

It literally takes an hour to get to the mystery! That said, when it does I enjoyed it. The cast is great and I liked putting the clues together (it’s fairly obvious who did it but still fun to watch Poirot figure it out).

Given the filmmakers had 2 extra years to work on the film it’s surprising how sloppy aspects of Death on the Nile are. The green screen is badly done and the editing is choppy throughout. I also thought 2 scenes where characters were supposed to be sexy (dancing and then making out on a pyramid) were staged very awkwardly and not steamy at all.

All that said, I still had fun with the mystery of Death on the Nile and the cast elevates the material they were given making for an overall enjoyable experience at the movies.

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

Moonfall

I am not the biggest Roland Emmerich fan. His big, bombastic films are usually more boring than exciting. Even his biggest hit Independence Day is not one I love as much as most people. So needless to say I went into his new film Moonfall with some skepticism. Now that I have seen it I can say it’s not a good film but it is kind of fun in a nutty way.

Watching Moonfall reminded me of a 2 part, bigger budgeted episode of Doctor Who– especially the last half where it goes way sci-fi alien story on us. It’s about a world where the moon is getting closer to the earth and if they don’t find a way to stop it than everything will be destroyed. Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry play astronauts that had a falling out and must reunite to save the world along with a conspiracy theorist played by John Bradley. We also get Michael Pena, Charlie Plummer (who I love) and more.

The problem with Moonfall is not the nutty plot but the terrible dialogue. I kept laughing throughout at the lines Emmerich gave the actors. It’s bad and yet it kind of made it more campy and endearing at the same time. It’s hard to explain but I left the theater having been entertained and smiling. Sometimes it is nice when Hollywood goes big dumb spectacle and that’s what Moonfall does.

If you like Moonfall check out the Chinese film The Wandering Earth. The films are very similar.

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

So there you have it. Gave mild recommendations to all 3. Maybe I was just in a good mood? Who knows! If you seen any of them let me know what you think.

 

Current Mini Reviews (Am I Ok?, Rifkin’s Festival, The Royal Treatment)

| Rachel's Reviews

Hey everyone! So we had my last day of Sundance today. I ended up with 24 films watched and a bunch started that I chose to not complete (I gave myself that out this year). In general, the festival was a disappointment this year. There were a number of films I enjoyed but nothing I can see ending up in my top 20 of the year. And a lot of my most anticipated were either disappointing or ones I didn’t finish. It’s a real bummer but I hope you enjoyed my coverage. I did the best I could to be fair and enlightening in my mini reviews each day.

Now I have one more Sundance film to review and a few other recent watches I’d like to talk about.

Enjoy some mini reviews!

Sundance: Tig Notaro's Am I OK? Takes Probing Look at Coming Out as an Adult ā€“ The Hollywood Reporter

Am I Ok?

From the summary Am I Ok? looked like the sweet romance I’d been looking for at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Unfortunately, that was not the case. It’s instead a coming out story, which would be fine but the none of the characters in question were very appealing or likable.

Dakota Johnson plays Lucy, a woman who finally admits she is gay, after her best friend Jane is moving back to England (she’s from England originally so not sure why this is a huge surprise). It seems like the narrative is going to be a friends to lovers story but it ends up being a lot of quarreling, fighting and overall obnoxious behavior. Then most of the time is spent with Lucy dealing with a crush on a lady at work not on anything to do with Jane.

Am I Ok? has nice moments but it could have been a lot better. I feel like a lot of films at Sundance this year were rushed with half finished scripts. Maybe they will improve the films before wide-release? Who knows but this one didn’t work for me.

4 out of 10

Frown Worthy

Rifkin’s Festival

While the festival was busy pumping out indie fare a new film from Woody Allen was quietly released entitled Rifkin’s Festival. Like most of Allen’s recent work it is a mixed bag of his best and worst tendencies.

The positives is with the film being set in a Cannes-like film festival in San Sebastian, Spain, Allen has a lot of fun commenting on the arthouse film crowd and prestige filmmakers like Godard, Fellini, Bergman and Orson Welles. He even has dream-sequences that recreate the iconic moments from these classic directors. That was entertaining.

Certainly the cast Allen has assembled is up for the challenge with people like Wallace Shawn, Gina Gershon, Richard Kind and more. However, the problem comes with the 78 year old Shawn playing the ”Woody Allen” role as the supposed pedantic lover torn between 2 beautiful young women. It was unbelievable to put it mildly.

In Allen’s previous film A Rainy Day in New York he had Timothee Chalamet in the Allen-esque role and I think that was the right way to go!

Still just for the cinema parts I’d give it a watch.

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

The Royal Treatment' Review: A Noble Netflix Romp - Variety

The Royal Treatment

For people outside of the Hallmark bubble they may be unaware of the flourishing business that is the royal genre of films. Whether it is on Hallmark with movies like A Royal Queens Christmas or Netflix with another Princess Switch movie (and that’s only a few of the many releases) there seems to be a never ending supply and demand for what are essentially Cinderella stories at the movies. Now our latest is The Royal Agreement on Netflix.

This film stars Mena Massoud as Thomas, the prince of fictional Lavania who hires hairdresser Izzy (Laura Marano) to help with his arranged wedding preparations. Of course he falls for the hairdresser instead of his intended bride but movies like these are about execution not originality and for the most part this is executed well.

The Royal Treatment is a cute movie that reminds me of The Beautician and the Beast– a movie I love. I appreciate the charisma of both leads and the humor the script brings in. In particular Izzy’s friends Destiny (Chelsea Preston Crayford) and Lola (Grace Bentley-Tsibuah) are a lot of fun as they bring some spice to palace life.

If you are a fan of royal movies you’ll enjoy The Royal Treatment. It does not break the mold but I had fun with it.

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

So there you have it. I was going to include a couple others but it’s late and I will save them for a future post. I hope you are all doing well and watching some great movies. Let me know what you recommend!

[REVIEW] ‘Hotel Transylvania: Transformania’ or A Sandler by Any Other Voice…

| Rachel's Reviews

Most people who read my reviews know I am not the biggest fan of Adam Sandler’s comedies. I actually don’t mind him when he works on other people’s projects (Spanglish, Punch Drunk Love, etc) however most of his Happy Madison produced films I’ve loathed. Movies like The Ridiculous 6, Little Nicky, and That’s My Boy should barely be referred to as films.

Fortunately there has been one bright spot in Sandler’s career. Since 2012 the Hotel Transylvania movies have been pleasant, well animated romps with Sandler in the lead as Dracula and directed by the visionary Genndy Tartakovsky. Of course, I wish Genndy’s more ambitious projects like Primal could get the same attention but alas Hotel Transylvania will probably be what he is most remembered for. And I guess they are fun enough films.

I actually enjoyed Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation film the most. The 2nd one flirts with a bold message but then cops out at the end and the first is just ok fish out of water story. The 3rd is a vacation movie with the most humor and sparkling animation.

Now we have the 4th entry Hotel Transylvania: Transformania which has Genndy as only a screenwriter and Jennifer Kluska and Derek Drymon taking over as directors.

We also have Brian Hull taking over for the voice of Drac, which honestly he does a near flawless Sandler impression. It has got to be a weird thing to be Sandler and hear someone doing your voice so identically. Unfortunately Brad Abrell is not as adept at taking over for Kevin James in the voice of Frankenstein.

As far as the story it’s cute enough. Drac’s son-in-law Johnny (Andy Sandburg) stumbles upon Professor Van Helsing’s (Jim Gaffigan) ‘monsterfication ray’ and turns himself into a monster. Then Drac and the monsters get turned into humans. It’s a one-joke premise but executed with enough manic energy to be entertaining. I particularly enjoy any time Fran Drescher’s Eunice gets to shine (they don’t give her enough to do in this franchise but she’s always hilarious). David Spade also gets some good laughs as the Invisible Man who isn’t so invisible any more!

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania is a good film to go to streaming. You can turn it on with the kids and have some laughs while folding laundry and getting things done. Maybe that’s a low bar but it’s a reality. It’s no masterpiece but it will have the whole family laughing and that’s important. I say give this scary hotel one more shot.

6 out of 10

Smile Worthy

 

[REVIEW] ‘Single Mother By Choice’ But COVID Not a Choice

| Rachel's Reviews

So far this COVID experience has been difficult to transfer to media. Most shows and movies have chosen to ignore it in the guise of escapism but there have been a few standouts. Interesting enough 2 of my favorites focus on the female experience with Stop and Go and I’m Fine Thanks for Asking. Now we can another compelling entry with the new film on HBOMax Single Mother by Choice.

In 2019 Selina Ringel and her husband Dan Levy Dagerman decided to makeĀ  movie chronicling her pregnancy but make the character a SMBC or Single Mother By Choice. This is obviously where a woman becomes pregnant through a sperm donor and has the child without a partner.

Then COVID happened and the lockdown and the story changed. All of the sudden the expected loneliness became magnified and Selina’s vulnerability and yet strength all the more exposed.

Ringel said “The lockdown as a result of Covid-19 plays directly into this theme. My character gets exactly what she wished for, to take care of everything by herself, but at a whole other level than she imagined and the lonlieness that comes with that is unbearable.”

Obviously this film is shot on a small budget but I felt it really captured the highs and lows of being single in the lockdown. I worked from home so I didn’t think it would be that hard but it was, and I can only imagine if I had all that while being pregnant!

I almost wish it was a series so I could keep following mother and child. One of my favorite parts was when she is interviewing roommates- something I can relate with as I had to find new tenants for my basement apartment during the pandemic.

Also all the zoom chats and the googling information about COVID and the baby. At one point her doctor tells her ‘stay off of google” LOL. It’s an interesting dichotomy because at the same time she’s doing this bold confident thing she’s also never been more isolated and alone. She both realizes she can do it on her own and that she needs people all at the same time. I think we all can relate to that understanding over the last few years.

Selina says “It has been through doing some deep work on myself that I have realized that asking for help is a strength, I think it is important to start seeing vulnerability as a positive attribute.” I couldn’t have said it better myself!

Single Mother By Choice is a moving insightful look at the female experience in the era of COVID. Definitely worth a watch if you get a chance.

7 out of 10

Smile Worthy