Hey guys!  Well, my friends Abby, Jeremy and I have made it through the cinematic masterpiece that is Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.  In truth I really hate the film but on the rewatch I found some things to praise and I had a great time talking about it with my friends (doing these discussions after bad movies would make movie-going so much more pleasant!)

Here is our discussion and even if you hate the movie I think you will really enjoy it.  I’m surprised we had so much to talk about it but look at this as more of a podcast style than a review.

As I am doing with all these Star Wars reviews I wrote up a little summary of the film.

PLOT:

Taking place 10 years after events of Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones focuses on mounting threats to the Republic. Padme Amidala is now a senator and she goes to Coruscant to vote on the building up of an army to thwart the threats. However, there is an assassination attempt on her life using killer centipede-like creatures. Obi-won and Anakin are put in charge of protecting her but Obi-won goes after Jango Fett the bounty hunter instead. Anakin then takes Padme to Naboo to hide but a romance develops between the two.

Obi-won finds out an army of clones is being made for the Republic with Jango Fett as the DNA. Anakin and Padme decide to leave Naboo when he has a dream about his mother on Tatooine. When they arrive, he finds his Mother has been taken by Tusken Raiders who then Anakin seeks out. His mother dies in his arms and in his rage he kills all the Tusken Raiders, women and children included. He tells Padme and she is sympathetic.

Meanwhile, Obi-won is on Geonosis and finds Jedi Master Count Dooku is building an army out of droids and that he wanted Padme dead. In fear the Senate gives Palpatine emergency powers and the clones are sent into battle. Anakin and Padme attempt to rescue Obi-won on Geonosis and they are almost killed but a group of warrior Jedis and their clone army fight a battle against the droids and Dooku. Anakin and Obi-won fight Dooku with light saber along with Yoda with Anakin losing his right arm. Dooku flees from Yoda’s power and goes back to Coruscant and presents his plans for the Death Star superweapon. Anakin and Padme marry to end the film

THOUGHTS ON THE FILM

My over all thoughts on the film is that it is a rough one to sit through.  I blame George Lucas in his inability to get anyone to help him on the parts that aren’t his strength like working with the actors and writing the script.  This is something he was willing to do in the original trilogy.

The core story could have been good or at least has good elements.  Like the idea of Palpatine siezing on the chaos of war to get emergency powers from the senate is interesting.  Also the backstory of Boba Fett watching his father getting killed by a Jedi has potential.  The villain Count Dooku is pretty menacing and had potential especially with Christopher Lee as the actor.

Unfortunately all of that gets lost in a terrible romance between Anakin and Padme with some of the worst romantic dialogue I’ve ever heard.  The acting is atrocious but it is hard to fault them for dialogue not even campy enough for a soap opera (and I like my share of cheesy romances).  Not only is it groan inducing but it involves characters making nonsensical choices especially Padme.

The Droid Battle is pretty cool with all the Jedis fighting droids but I hate the Yoda light saber duel.  Yoda is not a Jedi that needs to use a light saber.  He says repeatedly the force is his weapon.  At the very least Count Dooku has not been shown or developed in a way to lead us to believe he is even close to a match for Master Yoda.  As I said in the video I have no doubt Yoda can use a light saber but to me it doesn’t make sense that he would use one.  Plus, the CG Yoda is not my cup of tea and the bouncing around looks lame.

But all of that could be ignored if the lead character was watchable.   In recent years we’ve seen examples of compelling anti-hero stories (mostly on television like Mad Men and I’m told Breaking Bad).  Anakin’s story could have been done well but Lucas chose to make him a whiny, creepy brat.  And to top it all off he murders a whole village of Tuskens Raiders and Padme’s response is “To be angry is to be human,” because that makes sense…

The special effects don’t even look that good (especially in the scenes on Naboo with the weird snail cows)

Sigh… In the end, it is a huge missed opportunity and it basically turned me off movies for a while back in 2002.  I went on my mission from 2003-2005 so I actually have never seen Revenge of the Sith.  That’s how much I hated Episode 2 (there’s a huge gap in movie knowledge for me between 2003-2005.  I’ve seen like 5 movies). So we will see what I think of Episode 3 in 2 weeks (we are taking one week off because of Halloween).

Plus, the title doesn’t even make sense.  The droids are attacking not the clones!!

What do you think of Episode 2: Attack of the Clones? I know some people love the prequels, which is cool.  I just call it like I see it (it is my blog after all 🙂 ).

I know I can’t wait for Force Awakens and for the series to be redeemed (Please JJ)!

Overall Grade- D-